The Observatory

Snow on the Bimmer

Snow at the end of April? What the hell? At least there was no accumulation on the roads, since I had already mounted my Bridgestone Potenza RE-11 tires. There is minimal tread, just enough to channel out the water on the road, but useless in any amount of snow.

I had a cancer scare starting last weekend. I had a tenderness for 2 days and self-examined while taking a shower and discovered a pea-sized mass where there shouldn’t be one. I booked an appointment to see the doctor as soon as I could, and was able to see him Monday afternoon.

Today, I went in for an ultra-sound of the area. The examination took about 30 minutes, longer than I expected. The room lights were very low so I just lay there with my eyes closed basically ignoring what was going on, except for when I was asked to breath-in deeply and hold my breath. I asked the ultra-sound technician what which frequency the ultra-sound operates – he replied that it’s about 12. I asked 12Khz? No, he replied, 12Mhz.

The results will be reviewed by a radiologist and sent back to my doctor to give me the diagnosis, but it is possible that it is not cancer but rather just a blood clot. That would seem to fit the evidence, as the tenderness that triggered this adventure only lasted 2 days instead of persisting. I hope that is the case. I am hopeful of a simple explanation. If it is bad news, then at least there is a very high (>98%) survival rate when caught early.

I’ve been feeling really crappy over the last number of days. It might have started on Tuesday with a general lethargy at the end of the day. By Thursday, it had changed to a migraine headache, fever, muscle aches and what seemed like a chest cold. The migraine lasted almost 2 days and was the worst I’ve had in about 15-20 years. I believed that the cause of the migraine was that my back muscles were cramping because I was shivering due to the chills induced by the fever.

Once the migraine was reduced to a reoccurring pounding headache (Tylenol 3), I hoped I would get over the other symptoms. I even started feeling pretty good for a few hours on Friday.

My condition did not improve over the weekend. I had much difficulty sleeping due to my lungs being filled and continued muscle aches. Sometimes the fever would come back.

So this morning, instead of going to the doctor, I went straight to the emergency room. The theory was that if I would need chest x-rays or blood work, then they could all be done at once, instead of seeing a doctor, then going somewhere else for the tests, then back to the doctor.

Once I signed in, I was put into a separate waiting room with a sign outside indicating that it was an isolation room and only people who were asked to sit there should even enter the room. I was given a mask to wear.

Mask

I waited about 2.5 hours, catching a nap, and doing some light reading. Around noon, I was finally admitted into one of the examination rooms. There was a sign posted on the outside indicating “droplet warning” and that anyone entering the room had to wear a full face guard. Upon later reflection, this was likely because of the H1H1 flu policies.

The doctor came in and briefly checked me out and then sent me for chest x-rays to confirm the suspicion that it was pneumonia. I was beginning to suspect that might be the diagnosis because a chest cold does usually include a fever.

After the x-ray, the blood work was taken, and I was hooked up to an IV system. I wasn’t expecting the IV, but was interested in how it all worked. I could feel it when it started as my arm started getting cooler – the IV would be room temperature (say 25) but body temperature is about 37. I later heard the doctor outside my room indicating that she ordered the IV because my heart rate was 115 bpm. I didn’t realize it was so high. Adding saline solution will dilute the blood and lower the body temperature and bring down the heart rate (which it did).

The final diagnosis confirmed pneumonia. I was possibly still contagious, so I was told not to go to work for the rest of this week. I finally left the hospital about 7.5 hours after checking-in.

Overheard from the sign-in desk next to the waiting room:

1. “I have an infection on my (elbow/leg) and I am on antibotics. I was told to come to the emergency room if it got worse in case I needed IV antibotics.” I heard this twice in 2.5 hours. Is it really that common?

2. “I just returned from Cuba, where I was raped. Do you have a rape kit? Is a rape kit useful after 24-hours?” The woman left immediately after. It really got me thinking about what a terrible time she must be having. Can you imagine flying home with that on your mind? And I can’t understand why some men are so awful. I just don’t understand people.

3. “My father was in earlier and was sent to go get an MRI. I just wanted to let you know that they found a 5-centimeter growth in his brain. I wasn’t sure if you needed to know that for your records.” Again, another tragic story told in three sentences.

Because of the problems with loosing my MBP, I am glad I have a solid backup strategy, which is detailed below.

In summary, for most of the important files, I keep two or three backups in two physically different locations. Once a month, I will also perform a cleanup of the system and then a full-system backup. I will keep multiple backup copies.

Today the first goose pair returned to the Nortel campus. I saw them this evening.

In the morning, I saw a pair of mallard ducks.

The first tulips are pushing their way up through the damp ground. Spring is coming.

Nothing good happens to a person unless they do something to make it happen. Waiting for good luck to happen is bound to cause a profound sense of disappointment.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the last few weeks. It started when I was not able to go racing at Mosport. The tow vehicle broke down, leaving me without a car to race. I was already at the track when I found out. I could have stayed at the track, and possibly found another ride, but it was not very likely. Instead I drove all the way back (about 4 hours). It was a waste of my vacation day and an awful lot of gas.

Rosa asked me about the decision to drive back instead of staying at the track. Her point was that if I truly wanted something, I have to actively make it happen. If I want to race, I have to keep pushing, and not give up so easily when things don’t go to plan.

Same with photography. I know what I want, but unless I do something, and take that first step even when it is scary, nothing good will happen.

This evening I went to the RA Photo Club open house. I really wanted to see the studio, but once there I was very intimidated by the models and all the equipment and the dozens of people standing around watching. It was thinking about what Rosa said that I pushed my way to the front of the line, put the flash transmitter on the camera and started my first session with a professional model. It’s the first step.

Adriana the model

According to Dan Dennett, the secret of happiness is:

To find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it.

When I heard that, I instantly knew that I was on a path that will bring me great joy in my life. The something that is more important than me is my marriage. As I have done in the last 2 years, 5 months and 16 days since I married Rosa, I will continue to dedicate myself to our marriage, which is bigger than either of us alone.

Today, I went down to the War Memorial monument for the D-Day Memorial service. It’s been 65 years since D-Day, and this is likely to be one of the last major events that will have veterans of that event. Many of the veterans are now well into their 80’s.

Veterans

I feel that we should make November 11, Remembrance Day, a national holiday, even it it means we give up Family day (which is a provincial in Ontario and Alberta). I know very well that my freedoms and privileges of being a Canadian citizen is through the blood, sweat, tears and sacrifices of those in uniform.

My great-uncle (on my father’s side) was on Juno beach that day. I only met him once, and if I recall, he was reluctant to talk about the day – many of his friends were killed or wounded. He has since passed-on.